Maury meets the G-boys
by Wulipix
Summary: SHOUNEN AI WARNING!!!!!!! Nothing serious, just guys kissing guys. The pairings are 1X2, and 3x4. Basically, the guys get on the maury show and chaos brakes loose!


"Welcome, today we are doing a show which will consist of cutting off floor length hair" The audience claps from their seats. 

"Our first guest is a Mr. Heero Yuy, Heero would you please take a seat?" Heero appears and takes a seat next to Maury. 

"Now tell me why you brought Duo here today?" asked Maury. 

"Duo's hair always gets in the way, as sexy as it is in bed, it's always tickling me. I always wake up to find Duo's hair tickling my nose in the morning" Said Heero. 

"Let's bring out Duo shall we?" The audience starts to clap as they see two guards haul a kicking Duo, but stop when they see it's a guy. 

"I'M NOT GETTING MY HAIR CUT OFF!!!" Duo shouted as loud as he possibly can, still trying to hurt the people who were dragging him on stage. 

"Duo..." Heero began. "Shut up" 

"But Hee-chan! My hair is very important to me!" Begged Duo when the guards seated him next to Heero. 

"HHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" (1) came a sudden shout. 

"oh no" Duo and Heero both muttered at the same time. Heero quickly stood up and went To go hide. 

"Where's Heero?" asked a blonde who appeared out of no where. 

"Dunno" said Duo shrugging his shoulders. 

"OMAE O KOROSU!!!!" came a shout, Heero suddenly appeared swinging on what looked like a rope holding a gun and pointing it at Relena's head. BANG! 

"YATTA!!!!!"(2) Shouted Duo jumping into the air, forgetting he was on a TV show. 

"The big bad witch is dead!"(3) he shouted chanting, 

"Nimu Kanryou" Was all Heero said staring at the bleeding body grinning like a mad man. 

"Let's go to a commercial!" shouted Maury over the madness. 

Relena is seen standing on a tall mountain. "HHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!" She looks to the camera and holds a little package up. "I take Ricalo(sp?) cough drops so I can shout as loud as I want. "HHHHHHHEEEEEERRR....." 

"OMAE O KOROSU!!!!!!!!!" BANG! Chanting can be heard 

"The big bad witch is dead!" 

"Recalo, Don't take it if you are Relena" 

Duo picks up his cell phone and dials a number. 

"Hey what's up Quatre?" 

"Nuttin' just Drinking some tea, smoking some suits" Wufei picks up the phone. 

"WAZZZZUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The wazzup scene we all know so well happens. 

"Hey Trowa! Pick up the phone!" shouts Quatre. 

"Yo" 

"Wazzzzzzuuuuuuuuppppppp" Shouts duo doing the tongue thing too, the others follow. Trowa and Wufei hang up. 

"So what's up D?" 

"Nuttin', just having a drink and kissing some butt" The camera zooms out and we can see Heero kissing Duo. 

"True, True" 

The Maury show is back on and we can see Maury hitting his head repeatedly against a wall, while Heero and Duo make out on a chair. The camera turns to the audience who has been replaced with a bunch of hyper otaku, each one of them has a laptop and are typing furiously on their fanfics. One of these Otaku is none other then Wulpix herself who is grinning deviously(4) and typing up a storm, she must have some strange stuff in store for us today folks! The camera turns back to the show and Duo and Heero are still making out and Maury is now wearing a pink Tutu and dancing around like a complete and total idiot. 

"Our next guest is none other then the rich Quatre Raberba Winner" Maury says while still dancing around. Quatre appears and the otaku rush to him and start stealing all his clothes. When they are satisfied they go back to their seats leaving Quatre only in his boxers with hearts on them. He blushes crimson red and runs back to get some clothes on, then has a seat away from Heero and Duo who are still making out. A green eye glares at the audience in one of Yuy's death glares* from backstage. 

"Tell me Quatre, why did you bring Trowa here today?" asked Maury who was still dancing around imbasoically. 

"Well you see Maury, I always see one eye, I've never seen both eyes at once, I've always seen one or the other. Plus, it's a pain to kiss him because of it, I always have to work around it" said Quatre still blushing. 

"Let's bring out Trowa" Trowa walked out still giving the audience Yuy's Death Glare* and sat next to Quatre in a way that just screamed out "You touch, you die" Trowa looked over at Duo and Heero who were still making out, they hadn't moved since commercial break. Giggles were heard from the audience the camera turned towards them all of the audience were crowded around Wulpix's laptop, who looked like a mad women. Trowa, who knew about the girls secrete stash of Dr. Pepper, was scared for his life. There was no telling what was going to happen to them now, all's he could do was pray that she didn't think of anything too bad. Suddenly a familiar music started up, he recognized the beat but couldn't exactly remember what the hell it was. Suddenly the whole audience, wulpix excluded who was still typing up a storm, stood to their feet, now all wearing a similar suit.(5) 

"I wanna be the very best like no one ever was, to catch them is my real test to train `em is my cause. I will travel across the land searching far and wide, each bishounen to glomp the man that lies within side. Bishounen Gotta catch `em all! It's you and me, I know it's my destiny. Bishounen! Oh he's so sexy can I have him please? Bishounen gotta catch em all! Oh a face so cute, and a nice butt too. You glomp me and I'll glomp you Bi-shou-nen Gotta catch `em all, Gotta catch `em all Bishounen!" This made Duo and Heero stop making out in their chair and gasp in horror. 

"Omae o korosu?" asked Heero, suddenly gasping. "OMAE O KOROSU!!!!" he tried to say something else but all's that came out was those three words.(6) 

"Boku, boku wa shinigami shinigami!" The next scene is a bunch of hyper otaku's running around trying to catch the g-boy's who have mysteriously turned chibi and are running all over the place, dodging little blue balls. All of this happens and Maury is still dancing around like an idiot. Suddenly Quatre stops running and grins maniacally. He gets that look in his eye, you all know what it looks like, ZERO QUATRE!!!!!! Quatre reaches into hyperspace (7) and pulls out a huge gun and starts firing all over the place. This causes the Otaku to hurry back to their seats and remain quiet for the rest of the show. Trowa puts a hand on Quatre's shoulder and immediately calms the boy down, who blushes but keeps a firm hand on the gun just in case the otaku get any more crazy ideas. 

"Next time we come back we'll cut the hair!" announces Maury who jumps into the air and does a split. 

We see Wufei walk down the street and is suddenly struck by lightning. He walks by a girl. 

`Ooo nice ass!' Wufei turns to the girl. 

"Onna! How dare you speak such injustice!?!?!?!" 

"What? I didn't say anything" 

"Wufei was the ultimate sexist" Says the announcer. 

"Onna! Get out of my way!" 

"Wufei believed that Women should give the man whatever they wanted" 

"Onna! Get me my gundam!" 

"He is wrong. Now The ultimate torture will come to the bishounen..." 

"What did you say?" asked Duo. Wufei looks around, satisfied there is no one around. 

"I can hear onna's thoughts" he says with a shudder. 

"Now Wufei will learn that unless he stop's being the sexist, justice, rambling bishie he is, he will keep hearing what women think. The taming of Wufei!" 

"This is injustice! I demand a better role!" 

We see a figure of a man standing on a mountain with a flag in his hand. The words "Out play" flash onto the screen. A gundam suddenly comes out of the water and the guy jumps into the gundam. The words "Out wit "appear on the screen. Quatre is seen sitting in a tree fixing the last of his...traps...this one consists of thousands of guns, including sandrock pointing at one spot. He grins one of his Zero grins and looks up to the sky satisfied. The words "Out Last" flash onto the screen. We see a huge battle between five gundams, guns are firing everywhere and things are being blown up. The words "Survivor" pop onto the screen followed by: "Are you game?" 

"We're back!" shouts Maury who is now wearing a wedding dress complete with accessories, and make-up. "Now we'll get this show done and over with, we'll cut their hair off! Who will go first?" Maury asks looking at the Bishounen. 

"I'll do it! I want to get this done as fast as possible! Even though I don't like the idea of getting my hair cut off!" Duo shouts walking to the chair. As soon as the hair person comes even close to cutting Duo's hair, Heero shoots him. 

"Heero why'd you do that? You're the one that DRAGGED me here in the first place!" shouts Duo. Heero walks up to Duo and grabs the braid and kisses Duo. 

"Mine" he says glaring at Maury in one of his classic Death-glares. 

"Omae o korosu" he mutters before shooting Maury. He looks at Quatre and Trowa who are in their own little moment. 

"You know where to find us, if you need to. Let's go" Heero says before picking Shinigami up and heading out of the building. Trowa and Quatre soon follow. Heero looks back with one last look and set's Duo down. 

"Heero, if you're gonna blow the building up, can I do it please???" Heero looks at duo and nods before giving his Koi the button. After they blow the building up they head to the nearest Safe place and do some things, which I wont mention ^.^ 

1) You all know who this is. 

2) Yatta. It means: "We did it" or "You did it" in this case it means "you did it!" 

3) Someone's seen OZ too many times... 

4) Someone's had too much Dr. Pepper... 

5) Ok. If you don't understand what's about to happen go to:[1] www.pocket-bishonen.com 

6) Hehe, poor Heero, all pokemon like 

7) Hyperspace. Hyperspace is something that only girls can use. From this existence they can get anything from huge mallets to bishounen themselves. Hey! Why is Quatre using it?!?! 

Well, that's the end of this...insane...fic. Did ya like it? I Thought it was funny, stupid, but funny ne? 

Wufei: I thought you'd leave me out of this one onna! 

Me: I didn't say that Wuffie, besides, I thought you needed a lesson. 

Duo: Remind me to never participate in one of your fics ever again. 

Me: Not even a Lemon with Hee-chan? 

Duo: *brightens up a lot at this* 

Me: Just be happy I didn't decide to cut that braid off... 

References 

1. http://www.pocket-bishonen.com/ 


End file.
